


The Cat and the Heiress

by charlottenewtons



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon parallels, Cat Burglars, F/M, Plot Twists, Thief Dale Cooper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 04:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26467312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlottenewtons/pseuds/charlottenewtons
Summary: Audrey was either going to be a help or a hindrance. He couldn’t tell which and this troubled him. Either way, his trip to Twin Peaks was already proving more interesting than he had predicted.
Relationships: Dale Cooper/Audrey Horne
Comments: 11
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all I have to give credit to the wonderful rosedamask who came up with the idea for this.
> 
> Secondly this uses some dialogue from Episode One of Season One.

The hotel was as he hoped – good, clean and reasonably priced. The bed was comfortable, bathroom in good shape and the television had a decent choice of channels. Of course he didn’t intend to watch much television, but it was nice to have that option available to him if he needed it. All in all, a good place for a business traveller. Although for him the purpose of this trip was not business. At least that’s what he told himself. Rest and recuperation were the aims here. That and to lay low. The New York job had nearly gone south so Twin Peaks, Washington, a town that barely registered a dot on a map and was the other side of the country seemed like a sensible option.

Usually he avoided small towns. The people could be trusting, often leaving their doors unlocked, however a stranger always stood out. Besides, the people he robbed were not the kind to be lax with security so he had deemed it not worth the risk. He stuck to the cities with their big crowds and the anonymity they offered. However Twin Peaks had something that set it apart from other small towns: The Great Northern Hotel. It appeared to be the host for a variety of different guests - in the lobby he had heard the faint hum of a barbershop quartet – and he simply blended in as yet another traveller passing through. Perhaps he would consider this trip a reconnaissance mission for a future job. He could get an idea of the hotel’s layout and any notable guests that might be staying there. Although his first quest for information, he decided, would be to find out the name of those magnificent trees he saw on the drive in.

The styrofoam cup squeaked as she drove the pencil into the side of it. Audrey Horne cast a glum look at her surroundings. The same boring people sat around having the same boring conversations. The kind of people for whom an evening out at the Great Northern was the highlight of their week. If Audrey could be anywhere else right now she would be. Away from her mother’s cold anger, her father’s casual indifference and the tedious lives of her classmates. Living the high life in a big city with a handsome man at her side, travelling to new places, experiencing things she had never experienced before. She would miss Johnny, but sometimes she thought guiltily, it would be nice to be away from him as well. 

A headline on nearby newspaper caught her eye. ‘The Cat strikes again in New York’. She grabbed the paper off the desk and flipped it open. 

“That’s Mr Hughson’s newspaper,” whined Julie, one of her father’s drones sat at the desk with her.

“I’m only taking a quick look,” she replied. The story of the Cat had caught her eye a while back and she had been following it ever since. He was a burglar who stole things - usually jewels – from wealthy people. It was thought that he had committed at least three high profile robberies, possibly more. He was extremely stealthy and good at getting in and out of high places. Audrey imagined that he must be young and athletic. In her head he was always good looking, resembling a mixture of the stars of the old movies she liked to watch. It wasn’t just the Cat that intrigued her. The thought of the risk and the thrill of being in someone else’s home without them knowing…it sent a shiver of excitement through her.

Her thoughts were rudely interrupted by Julie snatching the newspaper out of her hands. 

“Mr Hughson will be coming for that soon,” said Julie. 

Audrey returned her attention to the pencil dug into the side of the coffee cup. 

“Julie, do you know what would happen if I took this pencil out this cup?” she asked, smiling sweetly.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

She giggled as she ran off leaving Julie cursing and attempting to mop up the coffee off her paperwork. The feeling of satisfaction she got didn’t last long.

Cooper took a sip of the coffee the waitress had poured for him. It was good. Damn good in fact. It gave him high hopes for the breakfast he was about to order. The breakfast room was moderately busy. A faint smatter of chit-chat but nothing too intrusive. He’d managed to ascertain from a few polite and unobtrusive questions, as well as the information given in the brochure, that the hotel was owned by one Benjamin Horne who had inherited it from his father. Mr Horne also owned a department store in the town and had a wife and two children. Undeniably a wealthy man. 

Every job was planned and carried out with care and precision. He had a code that he adhered to – he would not use violence and he would only rob people who could afford to be stolen from. All that had seen him well so far and he did not intend to change it. The truth was he had rushed things with the New York job and that had nearly led to him getting caught. He would not make that mistake again. He couldn’t deny, however, that he saw great potential in Twin Peaks and perhaps this would not be the relaxing holiday he had intended.

The waitress reappeared to take his order. “I'd like two eggs,” he started, “over hard, don't tell me, I know it's hard on the arteries but old habits die hard, just about as hard as I want those eggs…bacon, super crispy, almost burned: cremate it. I’ll have the grapefruit juice as long those grapefruits are…”

A beautiful young woman caught his eye. She returned his gaze and started to walk in his direction.

“…freshly squeezed,” he finished, somewhat stunned. The waitress disappeared with his order as the young woman approached his table. She had dark hair cut into a bob, a beauty mark next to her left eye and a very disarming smile. Like many other people there, her clothes were old fashioned but unlike everyone else she looked like she had just walked off an old Hollywood filmset. He stood up, smoothed back his tie and took a breath.

“My name is Audrey Horne,” she offered.

“Dale Cooper,” he replied.

“Can I sit here?” she gestured to his table.

“Miss Horne, unless I miss my guess, your father is Benjamin Horne, the owner of this fine establishment, so I guess you can sit anywhere you like. And I'd also like to add it would be my pleasure.” He felt back in control, assessing the situation and turning on the charm. Audrey took a seat opposite him. 

They made small talk for a while. She asked him why he was visiting. He replied for rest and relaxation (a half-truth). She asked him what he did. He told her he was in sales (again, partly true. He had a trusted fence to help him get rid of anything he stole.) She seemed to frequently veer between different conversation topics and there was a curious intensity about her. It occurred to him that she didn’t talk to many people, at least any who were willing to listen to her. 

“Do you like my ring?” she asked suddenly, holding her hand out for him to see. It felt oddly like a taunt, although there was no way she could know who he was or what he really did for a living.

“Very nice.” Cooper examined the silver band – genuine silver, no doubt – and the rock set into it – also genuine. Probably a present from either her mother or father. 

His food arrived with the waitress scolding Audrey about bothering the guests as she placed the plate on the table. He tried to assure them both that it was no bother, but Audrey soon scuttled off leaving him to his breakfast. Despite her somewhat odd conversational technique he found that he had enjoyed speaking with her. Most people he could easily figure out. Observational skills were after all essential to his work. Audrey, however, was different. She had tried to project the image of a confident femme fatale type and he suspected that a lot of people would take that at face value. Accept what she chose to show them unquestioningly. It would be easy for him to do the same, but he didn’t want to. The beginning of something, a want to scratch below the surface, to know her, had taken hold of him. Immediately he tried to dismiss it. That was another part of his code. Don’t become involved. It never ended well.

There were other considerations to make as well. Her knowledge of the hotel could prove useful, especially as she was so willing to talk to him. He was not above basic manipulation, even if he did feel guilty about it afterwards. Audrey was either going to be a help or a hindrance. He couldn’t tell which and this troubled him. Either way, his trip to Twin Peaks was already proving more interesting than he had predicted.


	2. Chapter 2

The fork broke through the thick, flaky crust of the pie causing the some of the cherry filling to ooze out and mingle with the partially melted vanilla ice cream on the plate. Cooper scooped up a piece of the pie and placed it into his mouth. It was delicious. The pastry was fresh, the fruit sharp but sweet. The heat of the pie and the coolness of the ice cream combined perfectly. The culinary delights of Twin Peaks had yet to disappoint. It was becoming a town of temptations for him. If he didn’t have other plans, he would have given some serious consideration to staying.

He had spent the previous day exploring the woods. Walking through the shadows of the trees (Douglas Firs, the concierge had informed him) and observing the wild untamed beauty had left him in a state of awe. When he returned to the Great Northern he had slept deeply for ten hours straight, which was unusual for him. Yet as much as he admired the woods, there was a darkness to them as well. Several times he felt unblinking eyes on him, observing from afar, although he put that down to unresolved anxiety over the close shave in New York. Once he had strayed off the path and nearly got lost. He had concocted various scenarios of himself wandering out there forever before he managed to retrace his steps and find the way. With a sharp pang he realized that if he had disappeared out there no one would come looking for him. 

“More coffee?” The pretty waitress asked, disrupting the maudlin turn his thoughts had taken. Cooper nodded and held out his cup. The coffee at the Double R diner was as good, if not better, than the coffee at the hotel. 

“How’s the pie?” she asked after filing up his cup.

“Incredible,” he replied, giving the thumps up. The waitress seemed pleased with that and went on her way.

Today was all business. Cracking the safe in his hotel room had been child’s play. By his estimation he could rob multiple hotel rooms in a night. The local library had been his next port of call to obtain plans for the Great Northern. On the copies available he noticed several service tunnels around the hotel, including one near Mr Horne’s office. In another enjoyable conversation with Audrey this morning he had learnt that her father often worked late and that her mother was frequently out of town. The formations of a plan began to come together. He felt that familiar tingle of excitement that he always got when he decided on a new job. 

With great enthusiasm he finished the pie and coffee, leaving a tip for the waitress – nothing too big or too small. It paid not to be too memorable. 

“Yes Dwayne, the rose petals will be ready. I am personally overseeing the matter.” Ben Horne’s voice came through the wall muffled. Audrey crouched down and removed the piece of wood covering her spyhole. Peering through into the office all she saw was her father pacing whilst on the telephone, looking increasingly exasperated with the caller. 

Sometimes spying her father was interesting, other times less so. This was looking to be more of the latter. Her thoughts turned to her latest point of interest – the mysterious Dale Cooper. She had flirted with hotel guests before. It had never amounted to anything other than disinterest or a clumsy pass to avoid. Cooper was attracted to her – his eyes had raked over her when she left the breakfast table this morning she noted with some satisfaction – however he also treated her with a kindness and consideration that was frankly alien to her. No man had ever analysed her handwriting and told her she had a heart that yearns before. What really intrigued her about him was his way of saying things without ever giving much away. Maybe he was just a private person but she sensed there was more to him than met the eye. 

Replacing the cover on the spyhole, she slipped out of the secret passageway and back into the corridor. If she was going to discover Dale Cooper’s deep dark secret then she had better get a move on. She had less than a week to break through that impeccable amour. 

Cooper leaned back in the armchair, enjoying the crackle and spit of the burning wood. He took a sip of his drink – a splash of whiskey – and watched the flames dance around the fireplace. Now more familiar with the layout of the hotel after studying the plans, he spent the day getting to know some of the other guests. In particular there was a Mrs Hughson who owned a rather spectacular emerald bracelet which he planned to relieve her of. 

He caught the scent of a perfume that was becoming all the more familiar to him and turned to see Audrey approach.

“Good evening Mr Cooper,” she said with a smile.

“Good evening Audrey,” he replied. “Would you like to join me?” Clearly pleased to be asked, she took a seat in the armchair next to his. 

“Did you find the library ok?” 

“I did. I went there yesterday.” The note with the directions she had written for him was still in his shirt pocket. 

Audrey leaned forward, ensuring she had his full attention. “And how are you enjoying your stay in Twin Peaks so far?” 

“It’s wonderful. You’ve got a great little town here,” he said with enthusiasm. 

This caused her to giggle. “Sorry,” she said. “I just don’t understand what you see in this place. I can’t wait to leave.”

“Small towns aren’t for everyone,” he acknowledged. She proceeded to quiz him about all the other places he had visited for work. Carefully he told her some minor details regarding the cities he had spent time in. Nothing too specific. She hung off his every word and he knew that she more than capable of putting things together if he wasn’t vigilant.

“Ever been to New York City?” she asked causing him to nearly choke on his drink. He nodded in affirmative that he had.

“That was where they nearly caught the Cat. Have you been following the story?” Her interest was plain as day to see. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He felt slightly dizzy, as if he had gotten up from his chair too quickly. Most likely it was caused by the alcohol, he rationalized. He’d been in this situation before. It was to be expected that his alter ego would come up in casual conversation. However with Audrey it felt different. Warning signs spelling out danger were flashing in his head and he knew that the potential for him to get into trouble was high.

“Yes, I’ve read a bit about that,” was his response.

“It sounds exciting.” Audrey was far away, dreaming of glamorous jewel thieves stealing from equally glamorous people.

“Not if they get caught.”

“That’s half the fun surely,” she replied. “Must be lonely though. If I was the Cat I would want a partner to help me.”

“Could be risky.” A vision of him and Audrey dressed in black silently creeping through a hotel room filled his mind. He rejected it straight away. He was being ridiculous, behaving like a schoolboy with a crush. 

“It would be worth it. Do you always travel alone?”

“Audrey, our guests do not want to be bothered by talk of thieves.” A tall man dressed in an expensive suit loomed over them both, interrupting the conversation. Cooper had seen him around the hotel. He was Benjamin Horne, Audrey’s father. 

“It’s no bother,” Cooper added. He noticed that Audrey was no longer smiling.

“That’s very kind of you to say Mr…”

“Cooper.”

“Mr Cooper.” Horne said his name like his was considering every letter of it. “Still, if you could leave us Audrey.”

Audrey wanted to argue but instead got up and silently walked away. Cooper watched her go, irked. He would have liked to continue talking to her, once he had moved the conversation onto safer topics, and was irritated by Horne’s attitude, dismissing her as if she were a member of staff rather than his own daughter. 

“What brings you to Twin Peaks?” Mr Horne enquired.

“A holiday,” said Cooper, “I wanted to relax and see some of the sights that this part of the world has to offer.”

“Ah yes, the sights,” Horne gave him a toothy grin. “The thing is with the sights around here is that some of them are to be looked at, but not to be touched. Am I making myself understood?”

Cooper nodded. The message was loud and clear.

“Good. Enjoy your stay Mr Cooper.” As Horne walked away Cooper realized two things – that he was going to rob this man and that he was going to enjoy it.

The door to the secret passageway was exactly where it had been marked on the plans. He had waited late into the night, when the corridors were silent and empty, and had walked down to the office. The passageway was dark and the air cool. Silently he crept along using the sides of the walls to guide his way. Coming to the end, he noticed some light faintly filtering in. With deft hands he felt along the wall and discovered a piece of wood covering a spyhole into the office. The Great Northern still had some secrets to reveal to him.

Peering through he took a look at the interior of the office. Mr Horne was sat at his desk smoking a large cigar. The décor was similar to the rest of the hotel. A large painting hung on the wall behind the desk which he suspected hid a safe. Across the room by the couch was an animal with white fur, stuffed and mounted. Cooper sincerely hoped that Audrey did not share her father’s taste for interior design. Somehow he thought it was unlikely. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something on a shelf next to him. A mug had been left there. He picked it up, examining it in his hands. It was empty and felt cold. A smudge of lipstick was left on the rim. Maybe a member of staff had sought refuge there. Or he considered, another person had visited the passageway, a young woman he knew who was curious and who would probably not have any qualms about spying on her father. He was going to have to exercise the uttermost caution here. 

After waiting for over an hour he decided to return to his hotel room. Mr Horne appeared to be rooted to his desk and Cooper had grown tired waiting for him to leave. After finding the mug he had also begun to worry that he might run into Audrey there. Being alone with her in a cramped, dark place would not be the most unpleasant experience, he conceded, but would cause trouble that could cost him dear. The encounter with her father earlier this evening had already left him concerned that he was drawing too much attention to himself. The last thing he needed was anyone questioning why he was creeping about the hotel late at night dressed in black with a mask and gloves in his pockets. 

There was a faint sound of singing in another language when he reached his floor. He frowned hoping he wasn’t going to have a disrupted night. He had come to appreciate the good night’s sleep the quiet of the Great Northern helped provide. Immediately when he approached the door to his room he knew that something was wrong. The door was slightly ajar. Animal instinct made him stop and take a step back. If he had carried a weapon, he would have drawn it. Carefully he pushed the door open and stepped into the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter references part of a deleted scene which can be found here: 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE8nSgCsW2I

When Cooper returned to his hotel room clutching two malts and a plate of fries, Audrey was sat on the bed, fully dressed, eyes still red from crying. Finding the door to his room ajar earlier had left him fearing the worst - the game was up and the FBI were lying in wait for him. It was almost a relief to find Audrey completely naked under the sheets, begging him not to make her leave. That feeling had soon disappeared and he was left with a dilemma of an entirely different nature. Sat on the edge of the bed, almost afraid to look at her, it had taken nearly all of his strength not to go over to her, gather her in his arms and kiss her. As he had told her, she was everything a man – everything he - wants in his life. 

He placed the food and drink on the bedside cabinet and took a seat, keeping a safe distance from her. Audrey scooted forward, closing the gap between them, and perched on the edge of bed next to him. She took a handful of fries to eat. They sat there in silence, neither sure what to say.

“I meant it when I said that you could tell me all of your troubles,” Cooper said, breaking the silence.

“I had an argument with my father,” Audrey offered.

“I hope it wasn’t because of you talking to me.” The last thing he wanted to do was cause trouble for her.

“No it wasn’t,” she reassured him, “well, it sort of started things…” She looked down at her hands, then the floor and fiddled with part of the bedspread. Whatever it was clearly was a deep source of pain for her. Her voice cracked as the words came out of her, hesitant and spluttered, about her brother and how an accident instigated by her when she was younger had caused his condition, something her father had apparently let slip during their argument. Cooper ached for her. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms but he knew that it wouldn’t lead anywhere good for either of them. There was his code to remember. Don’t get involved.

“Audrey, has a doctor ever said that your brother’s condition was caused by a head injury?” She shook her head. “Then you don’t know that it was your fault. And your father shouldn’t have told you that anyway.” His dislike for Ben Horne had doubled tenfold. “Have your tried talking to someone about this? A friend maybe?”

“I don’t have any,” was her response. “Everyone at school thinks I’m nuts…some weird rich kid. So I just played up to that and now it feels like I’ve drifted away from everybody. I’m always on the outside looking in.”

He understood. He felt exactly the same.

“It isn’t like that with you though,” she implored, “I know you feel the same.”

“Audrey, we’ve talked about this. I’m too old for you. I’m only staying here for a week.” _I’m a criminal. I’m going to rob your family._ There was so much more he could say.

“It doesn’t bother me.”

“Well it bothers me.”

She turned towards him and gently touched the side of his face. “I know you’re lonely too.” She was right, of course. Besides the cantankerous fence he sometimes worked with, friends were not the kind of luxury he could afford in his line of work. Romantic partners even less. Once, many years ago, there had been someone. Breaking her heart had been one of the worse things he had to do, yet deep down he knew it was necessary. He closed his eyes, enjoying the physical contact for a brief moment. Audrey’s hand was warm against his cheek. Gently he took her hand in his moving it down to his lips and pressed a kiss into her palm. All he could hear was her sharp intake of breath and the pounding of his heart. Slowly she began to move closer to him. Instantly he let go of her hand and stood up. He had to get a hold of himself, especially as Audrey was still vulnerable. History would not be repeating itself here.

“Do you want me to go?” Her disappointment was obvious.

“Not at all. I said I was here to listen and that’s what I’m going to do.” He grabbed the plate of fries. “We don’t want the food getting cold.” 

“What were you doing out so late?” she asked suddenly. “When I came to your room I thought you’d be here.”

“I couldn’t sleep so I went for a walk,” he replied. 

They talked a little more, although nothing quite so personal this time. Audrey seemed to have reached her capacity with that and he wasn’t going to push her any further. She told him how she liked to make up stories about the hotel guests and what they were doing here. Usually it involved spies or private detectives. It helped pass the time she explained. After a while he realized she had stopped replying to him and was fast asleep. She had settled on the other side of the bed and was curled up on her side, gently clutching at one of the pillows. He knew he should wake her and get her to return to her own room. Instead he took the blanket from the bed and wrapped it carefully around her.

The sunlight filtered in through the curtains waking Audrey. The side of the bed next to her was cold. Cooper was long gone. Either he had not wanted to waste his remaining days in Twin Peaks staying in his room or he was avoiding her. She hoped it wasn’t the latter. Despite his rejection she felt that whatever it was between them had grown into something stronger and deeper. He had seen a side to her that no one else had. Working out his feelings was less easy but she was beginning to get used to reading between the lines with Dale Cooper. It was in the way he had tried not to look at her when he had found her in his bed, even though he had clearly wanted to. The soft tones of his voice when he spoke to her. _What I want and what I need are different things._

Is this what being in love is like, she wondered as she traced her fingertips over her hand where he had kissed her. It was hard to know when she didn’t have anything to compare it with. The faint sound of the housekeeping cart moving up the corridor interrupted her musings and made her realize that it was probably time for her to go home. Maybe even face up to her father.

As she sat on the side of the bed putting on her shoes something caught her eye. A scrap of dark cloth on the floor just poking out from under the bed. She reached down and picked it up. On closer examination she saw that it was a strip of black material with two holes carefully cut out for eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter this time around, mainly because it was part of one bigger chapter that I have decided to split into two.

The sound of a large group of drunken men cascaded through the breakfast room causing several of the guests to sigh and tut at the racket. Cooper wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment. He’d been woken multiple times during the night by their singing. Admittedly it had been difficult for him to settle with Audrey next to him in the bed, although to his amusement he had discovered that she made rather cute snuffling noises in her sleep.

“Business junket from Iceland,” Trudy the waitress informed him as she refilled his coffee cup.

“They’re staying on my floor,” Cooper replied, unable to keep the irritation out of his voice.

“Here’s hoping the herring holds out,” said Trudy, “what with them and the Milford wedding, we’re rushed off our feet.” The town’s mayor was getting married on Cooper’s last day in Twin Peaks. It was a set to be a lavish affair with most of the town attending the reception. It struck him then and there that he would miss this place and its friendly, if slightly odd, inhabitants. More and more, especially since his encounter last night with Audrey – or maybe even since he first met her – he was becoming aware of his own loneliness and lack of a place to call home. 

“Here’s hoping,” he said, attempting to put on a cheerful smile. Once again his eyes wandered across the room. No sign of Audrey. When he left in the morning she had been sleeping peacefully and he hadn’t wanted to wake her. Some space between them might be for the best he reflected. 

The Horne family residence was quiet when Audrey returned. Her father was mostly likely in his office. Uncle Jerry who had returned from a trip abroad yesterday was god knows where. Her mother had taken Johnny out of town to see a specialist. It was a relief not to have to face any of them and the knot that had formed in her stomach loosened slightly. She still felt the hurt and shame from the argument with her father, as well as the delight at some of the events of last night along with a touch of embarrassment, however they had all been superseded by the thrill of knowing a secret that no one else knew. Earlier she had gone down to the breakfast room and watched from the side as Dale Cooper had smiled at the waitress and thanked her for his food. It had been difficult to resist going over to join him, but she held back.

Pushing open the door to her parents’ bedroom, she slipped inside and began her search for what she needed. The discovery she had made in Cooper’s room had sent her mind racing into all sorts of possibilities. She had a theory and she was going to test it out. All she required was something to set things in motion.

Cooper lent against the mantelpiece by the fire and surveyed the room. The guests and staff were going about their business as usual. A group of cheerleaders had arrived at the hotel for a tournament. He had spied Ben Horne making conversation with one before she was quickly escorted off by the chaperone. Whether it was down to the lack of sleep or his increasingly complicated feelings about the town, he felt out of sorts and for once unclear of what to do with his day. This was further compounded by Audrey Horne sashaying towards him with a wicker basket in hand.

“I woke up and you were gone,” Audrey said, a hint of playful accusation in her tone. Cooper quickly looked around hoping no one had heard her. It something that could be easily taken out of context. 

“I thought I’d let you sleep,” he replied softly. “How are you feeling?”

She certainly looked happier than last night. A smile was on her face and the way she looked at him very much reminded him of the way a cat might observe its prey before it pounced. It made him nervous yet he also felt a rush of excitement, a combination of feelings he was beginning to regularly associate with Audrey. 

“I’m fine.” A slight blush crossed her cheeks and she looked down at the floor.

“You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about,” he stressed as he touched her arm to reassure her. It was then that he caught sight of the necklace she was wearing. From a silver chain hung a large oval shaped diamond which rested on the front of Audrey’s pink sweater. Every now and then it caught the reflection of the light causing it to blink at him in an oddly hypnotic manner. He tried to avoid looking at it.

“Are you having a picnic?” he asked gesturing to the basket in Audrey’s hand. Some irrational part of him hoped she wasn’t going on a date.

“Well I was thinking,” she said holding his gaze, “that you need someone to show you around this place, so I thought I could be your tour guide and along the way we could have something to eat together. I got some food from the kitchen.”

This was one of the last things he should be doing today, yet he knew he couldn’t refuse. He still had to play the role of the tourist after all. So much for putting some space between them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cooper receives a tempting offer...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some lines of dialogue from episode 24.

The sky was pearly white dotted with occasional splashes of blue whenever the clouds broke allowing the sun to peak through. The lake was not busy. Aside from a solitary angler out on a boat, he and Audrey were the only people there. They had laid out the picnic blanket near the shore. It was so quiet that he could hear the faint whir of the fisherman’s line as he reeled in a catch, as well as the quacking of a group of ducks moving across the lake in a line. Although Cooper didn’t like birds he found something strangely reassuring about the uniformity of ducks.

The tour Audrey had given him had been somewhat unorthodox. She couldn’t tell him the names of any of the varieties of rabbits he had seen or the types of trees, but he had learnt where the teenagers of Twin Peaks held their parties and that many years ago a group of children had gone missing from the woods only to mysteriously reappear a few days later. All traces of the sad, vulnerable Audrey from last night were gone and back in her place was the confident flirtatious young woman he had first met. It was a front. He just had to discover what the particular purpose of it was. Something about this told him she had an agenda. 

“It’s beautiful out here. Thank you for showing me around Audrey.” His words startled her from whatever faraway world she had drifted off to. She was lying on her side propped up on one elbow. He laid out across the blanket and turned on his side so they were facing each other.

“I come out here a lot.” she replied. “It’s one part of town I don’t hate.” She flashed him a brief smile which he returned. The chain on her diamond pendant caught his eye. Initially he had thought that it was silver but on a closer look it was more likely made of white gold. Audrey followed his line of sight and fiddled with the chain.

“My father brought this for my mother a while ago,” she informed him. “It’s one of the most expensive pieces of jewelry she owns so he must have done something really bad. Do you like it?” Suddenly she looked up at him, her gaze piercing, catching him off guard.

“It’s very nice.” He tried to keep his tone neutral and attempted to change the subject. “Do you usually come here by yourself?”

She nodded. “Like I said last night, I don’t really have any friends. Most girls don’t like me. Most boys are afraid.”

“They can’t know you very well then,” he replied softly.

“I don’t think anyone really knows me.”

 _I’d like to._ It was something he desperately wanted to say out loud yet knew he couldn’t. They were too close – in an emotional and literal sense.

Audrey slowly inched towards him. “I know something about you that I’m pretty sure no one else knows.”

The hairs on the back of his neck prickled. “What’s that then Audrey?” 

She reached for his right hand and guided it towards her neckline, then placed the diamond pendant in his hand. He could still feel the residual warmth of her body heat on it. 

“Is there something you’d like to ask me?” It was becoming more difficult to keep the edge out of his voice.

“Are you the Cat?”

The world seemed to stand still. There was no noise from the ducks or the angler on the lake. It was just he and Audrey frozen together there in that moment, his hand holding her necklace, an imploring expression on her face while he blinked and tried to think of a way to extract himself from this situation. A situation entirely of his making he realized. 

“What makes you think that?” Immediately he was aware that he had taken too long answering her question. He let go of the necklace and sat up straight, moving away from her.

Audrey was nonplussed. “Well,” she replied, “one, you travel around the country on your own as a salesman which is ideal cover for a jewel thief. Two, whenever I asked you any kind of personal information you were always vague and careful not to give too much away.”

 _Lots of people travel around the country for work and I’m a private person._ That would have been his response if he could bring himself to speak.

“And three,” Audrey sat up to face him, “you creep around the hotel at night dressed in black with a mask in your pocket.”

“Audrey that’s ridiculous.” He tried to force himself to laugh. “You’ve put two and two together and come up with five.”

Audrey reached into the picnic basket. “Explain this then.” She dropped his black eye mask onto the blanket in between them. It must have fallen out of his pocket last night. How had he gotten so careless?

“What happened in New York? Why did you nearly get caught? Did you come to Twin Peaks for another robbery?” She fired questions at him then reached out and placed her hand on his. “It’s ok. I won’t tell anyone.”

There was no way he could see to get out of this. He could deny it – that would be the most sensible option - but he knew she wouldn’t give up that easily. Deep down he admitted that he wanted to tell her. To unburden himself. To impress her with his daring exploits. Perhaps that was the root of his negligence. 

“What guarantee have I got that you won’t say anything?”

“I promise. I know we’ve only known each other a few days but you’ve been a good friend. I don’t want you to go to jail.” Her expression was sincere enough for him to believe that she was telling the truth. “What made you become a jewel thief?”

“Well I’ve always been fascinated by the criminal mind. I actually applied to join the FBI. They rejected me though. Said I wasn’t suitable.” 

“So you decided to become a criminal instead? If you couldn’t beat them then you’d join them?”

“Something like that, yes.”

“You have rules though. You’re a gentleman thief.” Gentleman thief. That made him smile. He liked the sound of that. 

“I do operate by a code. It makes things simpler. In answer to your earlier questions, I rushed things in New York. There was an extra security guard that I didn’t know about and that was why I nearly got caught. I came to Twin Peaks to hide,” he offered.

“If you came here to hide then what’s with the mask?” she asked. There was no fooling her. He would have to be completely honest. “Was that the reason why you started spending time with me? Because you wanted to rob my father?” A slight tremble appeared in her voice as she spoke. Somehow this felt worse than getting caught.

“In part,” he said. “But Audrey I want you know that I never once thought you were stupid or foolish. I have complete respect for you. Yes, I initially started talking to you because I thought you might have useful information, but also because I like you. I like spending time with you, perhaps too much. I know you have no reason to believe that I’m telling the truth, but it’s how I feel. I hope you can forgive me for any hurt that my behavior has caused you.”

Audrey sniffled and a tear rolled down her cheek. Instead of saying anything more he took his handkerchief out of his pocket and carefully wiped away the tear.

“I guess you’re forgiven.” She gave him a watery smile. “I thought you might have come here for the Milford wedding.”

“Why’s that?” he asked.

“He’s marrying some rich socialite. She has a jewelry collection worth thousands.” 

How, in all of his various conversations with the staff and other guests, had he managed to miss this particular piece of information?

As if she had read his mind, Audrey answered his question. “The staff have had to keep it pretty hush hush. There are a lot of security measures. Something to do with there being a cat burglar on the loose.” She finished off her sentence with a slight smirk. 

It was an enticing prospect, no doubt. He enjoyed a challenge and had most of the layout of the hotel down to a pat. He doubted that the security measures would that difficult for him to bypass. “No.” He shook his head, dismissing the idea. “I’m not robbing anybody. Not your father, not this woman.”

“Why not? I said I won’t tell anyone about you and I meant it,” she replied. “You could rob both of them.”

“Audrey, I’m good but even I couldn’t do two jobs like that in one night.”

“You could if you had me,” she shot back. “I know the hotel like the back of my hand, I can tell you exactly what is worth taking from my father and I can find out what the security measures are for the bride-to-be’s jewelry collection.” 

Her confidence was infectious. Already he found himself running through the possibilities and how he could use Audrey to help. This had been her agenda all along he realized. The diamond pendant, the mask and then the information about the wedding had all been laid out as breadcrumbs for him to follow and now he was caught in the trap, stuck with not only the temptation to pull off an audacious robbery, but to have a partner by his side as well. He would have been unsure of whether to trust her if it hadn’t been for her genuine emotional response to the idea of him using her. There were stakes in it for her that went beyond thrill seeking or any potential financial gain. That was what sealed his response to her proposal. He looked at her straight in the eyes.

“Okay Audrey,” he said. “It’s a deal.”


	6. Chapter 6

It was late but Cooper wanted to run through the plan one last time. Tomorrow was the big day and nothing could be left to chance. For several reasons it had been difficult for him and Audrey to spend time alone together. She had staged a dramatic reconciliation with her father in order to gain access to the security protocol surrounding the Milford jewels. Apparently Ben Horne had liked the idea of Audrey becoming more involved in the family business, although her role at the hotel was largely for show. Despite keeping Audrey busy, it had given them the information they had needed for the robbery. Cooper was almost alarmed at how effective Audrey’s manipulation of her father and those around her was. He wouldn’t want to come up against her, he decided. Another factor in keeping them apart had been that Benjamin Horne had taken to checking in on him and not so subtly reminding him that Audrey was out of bounds (he hated the way Horne acted as if Audrey was an expensive item that they were both vying for.) Still, he wasn’t omnipotent, and Audrey had managed to slip away unnoticed and was now sat opposite him on his hotel room bed.

“Are you sure you can get the cart without anyone noticing?” Cooper asked.

“It won’t be a problem,” she replied. Audrey was stretched out on her side facing him, the plans scattered between them. She had proved to be a resourceful and enthusiastic partner, quickly offering solutions to potential problems. She was also reckless. That was something he was going to have to keep an eye on. He found, however, that their approaches often complimented each other. 

“You can still back out if you want to.” He wanted to make it clear that she had a choice.

“There’s no way that I’m backing out.” She was adamant. “I feel like part of me can’t believe that this is real and another part of me is so aware of how real this is. It’s like sometimes I’m having an out of body experience. I’m scared but I’m also excited. Do you ever feel this way before a robbery?”

“Every time,” he replied. 

“How do you deal with it? I feel like I’m going to die of anticipation.”

“I’ve studied various mediation techniques. I find them quite helpful in dealing with any unwanted anxieties before a job.”

“Perhaps you could teach me them one day,” she said with a hopeful smile.

“Maybe I will,” he said, returning her smile. The future for them beyond this job felt hazy and uncertain. It was nice to have something to possibly look forward to.

When they had been over everything, dotted every I and crossed every T, he held the door open for Audrey to leave. 

“Goodnight,” she said as she stepped out into the corridor.

“Goodnight Audrey.” 

As she started to walk down the corridor a bellhop appeared pulling a trolley of baggage behind him. He obviously recognized Audrey and smirked at the sight of her leaving someone’s room. Audrey glared at him, daring him to comment which he didn’t, instead simply carried on walking past. Cooper quickly shut the door feeling vaguely unsettled. He had a nagging feeling that trouble was coming.

A pleasant hum of chatter filled the Timber Room. The tables had been cleared away to make space for the wedding reception. Various locals and guests were wandering about, picking at the trays of food and helping themselves to the free champagne on offer. He had spent his final day in Twin Peaks taking a brief hike through the woods to get one last look at those magnificent trees, then lunch at the Double R Diner. He had savored every delicious morsal of the huckleberry pie. It would be a long time before he got to appreciate it again. After that, it was all preparation for the big night. Preparation not only in terms of the mental or practical, but also of wedding reception attire. His tuxedo worked for blending in at big city soirees however it might be considered at bit much for the party in Twin Peaks. Instead he went for a simple dark jacket with a light blue shirt underneath and no tie. 

“Just you wait until the brother turns up.” An older man dressed in a plaid shirt clutching a large glass of milk swiveled around on his bar stool to talk to Cooper. Audrey had given him a brief overview of the longstanding feud between the mayor and his brother, the editor of the local newspaper. It was an almost certainty that he would turn up and cause a scene, a distraction that would be extremely convenient. 

“Are there family difficulties?” Now it was time to play the part of the clueless tourist.

“Oh Dwayne and Dougie have been fighting for decades now. No one can remember what they first fell out over, heck I’m not even sure they can,” the man replied. “Unusual couple the bride and groom…” Cooper nodded in agreement. She was considerably younger than her husband. “But then love is a funny thing. I should know.” The man chuckled to himself. Across the room Cooper spotted Audrey. He caught her eye and she smiled at him, then headed to the elevator. It was time. 

“It was a pleasure meeting you Mister…?”

“Martell, Pete Martell,” the man replied. They shook hands and Cooper started to make his way towards the exit. Unfortunately it was at that moment that Ben Horne decided to saunter over to him. 

“Enjoying yourself Mr Cooper?” Horne took a swig from his champagne glass. 

“I was actually about to turn in for the night. I have to leave early tomorrow morning,” he said, attempting to maneuver around Horne who had placed himself between Cooper and the exit.

“How have you found your stay here? Has the attention of the staff been sufficient?”

A bead of sweat formed on the back of Cooper’s neck. He didn’t have time for this. If he and Audrey left things too late then they could be interrupted. “The staff have been excellent.”

“Good, good.” Horne held out his empty champagne glass for a member of staff to take. He then took out a cigar and lit it, the smoke blowing in Cooper’s face. “Although it makes me wonder why you needed my daughter to visit your room last night.” This was obviously what he had been building up to. Cooper almost wanted to laugh. If only he knew. 

Before he could come up with a reply a shout from across the room caught theirs – and everyone else’s – attention. 

“They say that there’s no fool like an old fool and you’re the oldest person here by a long shot!” An elderly gentleman was berating the mayor who in turn was becoming more and more enraged. This must be the brother, Cooper thought. Finally, a stroke of luck.

“Shut your pie hole!” the mayor retorted. “You’re only jealous.”

“Jealous? Of what? Being bled dry by that woman?”

The two men lunged at each other with surprising agility. The mayor managed a push which sent Douglas Milford flying into a table of canapes. The bride shrieked, several guests gasped, some laughed. Ben Horne and a couple of members of the Sheriff’s Department hurried over to attempt to separate the two men. Cooper took his chance and headed towards the elevator.

The new Mrs Milford was staying in the exclusive Lumber Baron suite on the top floor of the hotel. The entrance was guarded by a member of a private security firm who carried out hourly sweeps of the suite while the occupant was away. What it did have to their advantage was a small balcony overlooking the falls. Audrey had ensured that the room directly below remained empty for the night and he would climb from there to the balcony. She would gain access to the room disguised as a maid and unlock the doors for him. It was a solid plan however he was aware that a lot was depending on Audrey. 

He opened the door to her in the middle of putting on a maid’s uniform. Quickly he turned away, feeling his face becoming flushed.

“I’m sorry, I should have knocked.” Carefully he turned his head ever so slightly to check if she was dressed, getting a brief glimpse of her back before she zipped up the uniform.

“It’s okay,” she replied. She looked a little embarrassed but met his gaze. Trying to ignore the various inappropriate thoughts he was having, he grabbed the clothes he had left there earlier and headed to the bathroom to change. When he came out Audrey had put on a blonde wig and was applying make-up. They wanted to avoid the off chance of anyone recognizing her. She gave him a twirl. “How do I look?”

“Perfect,” he said. 

“You look good too.” He had replaced his suit with a black sweater and pants, black shoes – rubber soled, good grip, not likely to leave marks or make a noise – gloves and mask. Audrey passed him a small black sack.

“I grabbed anything I could find,” she said. “I think my mother must have taken most of her jewelry with her.” He looked through what she had got – earrings, a couple of rings, the diamond pendant, a watch.

“Did I do good?” Audrey asked, a hint of nerves in her voice.

“You did great,” he told her. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Audrey placed the sack with his tools under the fresh towels on the maid’s cart she had stolen, while he got the rope and grappling hook, slid open the window and felt a blast of damp chilly air hit him. It was dark outside which meant that he couldn’t see the sheer drop down to the ground. Sitting on the ledge, a leg over each side and using one arm to brace himself, he attempted to throw the grappling hook around one of the pillars on the balcony. He missed. The hook clattered down the side of the hotel. He gathered up the rope ready to make a second attempt. Audrey came over to him, eyes wide, arms folded tightly.

“It’ll be alright,” he reassured her, “I’ve done this before.”

He threw the grappling hook a second time and it wrapped around the pillar. He pulled on the rope, fixing it into place. “I’ll see you up there,” she said as she leaned over and quickly kissed him on the cheek. Before he could respond she was pushing the maid’s cart out of the room. Using the side of the window and the rope he pulled himself up so he was stood on the window ledge. He could hear the roar of the falls and it made him acutely aware of how far he would fall if he let go. Clearing his mind of all thoughts except the simple motion of his hands moving up the rope, he began to climb.

Audrey pushed the cart down the corridor, gripping it tightly to keep her hands from shaking. Seeing Cooper on the ledge so close to potential disaster had shaken her. Between that and the pressure she was feeling over her part in the robbery, she was worried that she was going to do something to screw things up. Attempting to calm herself, she cast her mind back to more pleasant thoughts. _Cooper’s face when he walked in on her half-dressed._ That made her smile, and she felt her spirits lifting. She could do this. Cooper trusted her, was relying on her - nerves and scratchy fabric be damned – she wasn’t going to let him down. 

The security guard was pacing up and down outside of the Lumber Baron suite. It took him a few seconds to notice her. He was clearly bored and not particularly alert. 

“What do you want?” He eyed her suspiciously.

“I’m here to prepare the suite for Mrs Milford,” she replied. Should she have put on an accent, she wondered. 

“I haven’t heard about anyone having to enter the room and if I don’t know about it, you’re not going in sweetheart.” The condescension in his tone irritated Audrey yet also made her feel more confident. She liked a challenge.

“I have orders from Mr Horne himself that the suite needs to be ready in the next hour. If you want you can check with him. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to hear that you’re causing trouble for our best paying guest.” Audrey stared at the man, daring him to disagree. He stared back for a second, then relented, taking out the room key and unlocking the door.

Cooper hauled himself over the balcony and sagged with relief. He had needed to do some climbing in previous robberies. This was the shortest in length but by far the most dangerous. He waited by the balcony doors for Audrey. The suite was dark. The doors could only be unlocked from the inside and he had given some thought to what he would do if she wasn’t able to gain access to the room. Smashing the glass in the door was the most likely option, although the noise could attract the guard. Unfortunately he hadn’t brought his glass cutting tools with him to Twin Peaks.

The light in the suite flickered on and no sooner than a minute later Audrey appeared to unlock the doors. Quietly he slipped into the room. It was large with a double bed in the center. Various boxes of shoes with brand names splashed across them were piled in a corner. The smell of expensive perfume hung in the air. Some clothes were scattered about the room. Silk, cotton, nice material, well made. He’s good at recognizing wealth and he sees it here and it makes him wonder why this woman has married a small town mayor, but maybe the Milford family have secrets of their own.

The safe was by the bedside cabinet on the right side, away from the door. Audrey parked the maid’s cart by it and he fished out his stethoscope from under the pile of towels. She stood on guard closer to the door. The safe was a slightly different make to the one in his room, although nothing too difficult for him. Soon he was back in the world of contact points and gate signatures where patience, precision and a steady hand won the day. He had gained three digits of the combination when the hotel room door opened suddenly and the security guard entered the room.


End file.
